How to Tell When It’s More Than Just Fussy Eating

Let’s be real — all kids go through weird food phases. One week they love strawberries, the next week they act like you’ve poisoned them. Fussy eating is normal to a point. But what happens when it starts to take over mealtimes? When food becomes a battleground? When they only eat the same handful of foods and even thinking about trying something new causes real distress?

If your gut is telling you something more is going on — you’re probably right.

As a feeding therapist and dietitian, I work with families every week who are stuck in that confusing grey area between “typical” fussy eating and something more serious, like Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) or a sensory feeding challenge. This blog will help you understand what’s normal, what’s not, and when to seek support.

What Typical Fussy Eating Looks Like

Most children will go through a phase of being selective with their food. This usually:

• Starts around toddlerhood (but can continue into primary school)

• Involves reluctance to try new foods (especially veggies!)

• Comes and goes — good days and not-so-good days

• Still allows for enough variety to meet nutrition needs

• Doesn't cause intense distress or fear

Think: a child who will only eat carrots raw, or needs ketchup with everything, or avoids “mushy” textures like mashed potatoes. It can be frustrating, but there’s some flexibility — and they’re still growing and functioning well overall.

Red Flags That Suggest It’s More Than a Phase

Here’s where it might be time to dig deeper. Some signs that picky eating might be something more:

• Severe restriction: Less than 20 foods in total; very limited food groups (e.g. no fruits or veggies at all).

• High distress: Panic, meltdowns, or gagging when faced with new or non-preferred foods.

• Rigid routines: Foods must be a specific brand, shape, temperature, or colour — or they’re refused completely.

• Lack of growth: Weight plateau, poor growth, or nutritional deficiencies.

• Avoidance of food situations: Refusing school camps, parties, or family meals due to food-related anxiety.

• Longstanding behaviours: Ongoing for 6 months or more, without improvement.

These may point to ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), which is a recognised eating disorder — or to a sensory feeding challenge often seen in neurodiverse kids and teens.

How to Get the Right Help (and What Not to Do)

The most common thing I hear from parents is:

“We thought they’d just grow out of it.”

And I get it — no one wants to overreact. But waiting it out when your child is in distress, anxious, or nutritionally compromised can make things harder in the long run.

Here’s what to avoid:

• Forcing or bribing them to eat (it creates power struggles and increases anxiety)

• Assuming it’s just behaviour (many of these kids want to eat more — their body and brain just won’t let them)

• Comparing to siblings or peers (this often fuels shame)

Instead, seek support from a team that understands feeding challenges — not just from a nutritional angle, but behaviourally, emotionally, and sensory-wise too.

A feeding therapist like myself can:

• Help you identify the root causes of the eating challenge

• Support your child to build trust and confidence around food

• Guide you through gradual, evidence-based strategies to expand their diet

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or just stuck — that’s exactly why I’m here.
You can start by downloading my free ARFID Survival Guide [insert link] or book a discovery call to see how I can support your family through this.

Helping kids build confidence with food is possible — and it doesn’t have to mean tears at the dinner table.