5 Nutrition Mistakes Parents Make When Feeding Neurodivergent Kids (and What to Do Instead)

If you're supporting a child who’s neurodivergent or struggles with sensory sensitivities, you've likely been given a lot of conflicting advice about food.

“Just hide the veggies.”
“Don’t let them leave the table until they finish.”
“Give them a supplement instead.”

The truth is: many of these common feeding strategies simply don’t work for neurodivergent kids. In fact, some can cause more harm than good — eroding trust, increasing anxiety, and making mealtimes even more stressful.

1. Mistake: Sneaking in nutrition without consent

It’s tempting to blend spinach into smoothies or hide lentils in the pasta sauce. While this might seem harmless, for many neurodivergent kids it breaks trust.

👉 Children who experience heightened sensory awareness often notice subtle changes in taste, texture, smell or colour and when food feels “different,” it can lead to even more food refusal or anxiety. Leading to the loss of what was a "safe" food.

✅ Try this instead: Involve your child in preparing meals, even if it’s just exploring a new food with their fingers or watching from the bench. Ask them if they would be happy to try their "safe" food with a new twist. 

2. Mistake: Relying too heavily on supplements

Supplements can be helpful in specific cases — but they’re not a replacement for learning to trust and expand a child’s relationship with food.

For children with ARFID or other restrictive eating patterns, it's common to see supplements used to “fill the gap.” But without addressing the underlying cause of restriction (sensory sensitivities, anxiety, trauma, or neurodivergent needs), the long-term progress stalls or reliance on milk based drinks. 

✅ Try this instead: Work with a feeding therapist or dietitian experienced in sensory-informed strategies. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s helping your child build confidence and competence with food at their own pace.

3. Mistake: Expecting neurotypical eating patterns

Picky eating is often viewed as a behaviour problem — when in reality, it's often a sensory, developmental, or neurological difference.

Neurodivergent children might:

• Eat more at certain times of the day (due to interoceptive differences)

• Struggle with temperature, texture or mixed foods

• Prefer routines and sameness for comfort and predictability

And that’s okay.

✅ Try this instead: Normalise food routines that work for your child, even if they look different from what others expect. 

4. Mistake: Thinking exposure = pressure

You’ve probably heard “They just need to try it 20 times.” But forced exposure, even in small amounts, can backfire if it doesn’t feel safe.

✅ Try this instead: Use gentle, play-based food exploration. Let your child look at, smell, touch, or play with food before tasting. This builds familiarity and reduces anxiety — without forcing tasting or swallowing before they’re ready.

In my practice, we use the SOS Approach to Feeding, which focuses on building trust and step-by-step desensitisation. It’s all about supporting autonomy, not applying pressure.

5. Mistake: Ignoring your own stress

Feeding a child who struggles with food can feel exhausting. When your child isn’t eating “enough,” or their diet feels limited, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing. But stress is contagious — and when we’re anxious, our kids feel it too.

✅ Try this instead: Focus on creating a calm mealtime environment. Lower the stakes. Your job is to offer food, create safety, and support autonomy — not force outcomes.

🧠 Remember: Your Child Isn’t Broken — and Neither Are You

Your child’s relationship with food is deeply personal, and shaped by their sensory experiences, developmental wiring, and emotional safety. When we shift our focus from fixing “behaviour” to supporting their unique nervous system, everything changes.

You’re not doing it wrong. You just need the right tools.